Cruel Read online

  “Fuck this,” Marcus spat, jumping to his feet. “Do me a favor and stay away from me if all you’re going to do is make me feel like shit.”

  Her eyes flew open and she gaped at him in shock.

  I make him feel like shit?! What about all those years he tormented me?

  He barely managed to put his pants back on, his hand already on the door as he stormed from the room, leaving her there to consider his words.

  Let him go, a logical voice told her. Nothing could ever come of this anyway. After all, in a couple months, he’s going to be your stepbrother.

  It was truly a no win situation.

  Chapter 12

  His father called every day after that, but Marcus ignored the messages, despite Mindy’s insistence that he return the calls.

  “Marcus, I’m at my wits’ end with your mother,” his aunt threatened. “I’m not sticking around much longer. Either get your father to help, or—”

  “He’s not going to help,” Marcus barked back at her. “He’s getting married.”

  Mindy had been just as stunned by the information as Marcus had been at the restaurant.

  “To who? That skank he was running around with on your mom?” she demanded.

  “Another skank,” Marcus replied coldly, a flash of guilt overwhelming him as he realized he was talking about Elyse’s mother.

  “You should take him to court for support,” Mindy decided and Marcus frowned, knowing that all she was thinking was money. “He didn’t help out much after he left, you know?”

  He wanted to remind her that he was trying to get a college degree, that his tuition rested on a scholarship and that he had too much happening already without bringing a lawsuit into it.

  There was a tension building in his shoulders, one that had only increased since leaving Elyse’s house on Sunday. He couldn’t believe he’d fallen into her lair again, especially after the first time she’d snubbed him so quickly post-sex.

  That’s the end of that. I’m not going to the wedding and I’m not going to see her again. I’m going to forget that Elyse Halston ever existed in my life.

  Of course, it was much easier said than done when he was still catching whiffs of her sweetness in the most inopportune times. Sometimes, he’d catch a glimpse of red hair and think it was her, only to be sorely disappointed when he saw the face of the woman he was staring after.

  Why did she have to come here of all places for school? Isn’t she some rich kid with decent grades?

  He pulled open his laptop, determined to focus on his schoolwork but as he opened the internet tabs, he found his fingers typing in something else all together.

  Sildenafil.

  That was the name on the prescription bottle. But I don’t know why the hell I’m even looking into this.

  Marcus knew that for someone who had decided not to think about Elyse anymore, he was doing an awful lot of it.

  I just want to know what she was taking. I just want confirmation that she is stressed out being with me.

  His jaw almost hit the table when pictures of Viagra popped up on the screen. Humiliation burned his ears, even though it didn’t make any sense whatsoever. Since when did women take Viagra, particularly after having sex.

  What the fuck?

  Was that some kind of covert insult to his sexual prowess? What did it mean?

  A knock on his bedroom door caused him to slam the screen closed in embarrassment.

  “What?” he snapped, knowing it could only be his aunt. Mindy slowly opened the door and stood at the threshold, her arms folded under her breasts.

  “I’ve been thinking about what you said,” she told him. “And you’re right.”

  Marcus waited, an unsettling feeling creeping into his gut as he stared at her.

  “About what?”

  “About me being here and how it’s not really all that helpful because your mom and I just can’t get along.”

  Marcus stifled a groan as he waited for her to continue.

  “So, I think I should head home. I’m only enabling you both by being here.”

  Marcus somehow wasn’t surprised. After all, Mindy had been itching to leave since she’d arrived. She either wanted him to beg her to stay or she genuinely wanted to leave.

  “Fine,” he said dully, knowing that the last threads of his life were dangerously close to fraying. “Thanks for all your help.”

  “Marcus, you need to—”

  “What I need,” Marcus said with fatigue, his eyes gritty from lack of sleep. “Is for everyone to stop telling me what I need. Close the door, please.”

  Mindy frowned but she did as she was told and he listened for her in the house.

  Now what? He thought woefully.

  He knew what.

  He was going to have to drop out of college and care for his mother. That was the only option left, short of having her institutionalized. Lucy couldn’t be left home alone and Robert—or was it Rap now—wasn’t going to do a damned thing to help.

  Marcus swallowed the bile bubbling in his throat. Once he left college, he would lose his scholarship. There wouldn’t be another opportunity like this but what other choice did he have?

  He reopened the computer and closed the Viagra screen as he tried to formulate a plan. He heard the front door open and close. By the time he reached the front of the house, Mindy was already gone, without saying goodbye. He was on his own—again.

  What else is new? He thought bitterly. I should be used to it by now.

  Chapter 13

  “You have a lot of nerve showing up here,” Irene spat at her daughter. “You stood us up on Saturday!”

  “Your fiancé is my…the father of someone I went to school with,” Elyse told her flatly. “I ran into him outside and we were…catching up.”

  “That rude boy is a friend of yours?” Irene demanded. “Rap tells me that he takes after his mother and she was a real piece of work.”

  Defensiveness shot through Elyse.

  “I’m surprised he knows,” she replied shortly. “Considering he left his wife and son.”

  Irene’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

  “Rap is a good man and he tried to be a good father to Marcus. If Marcus wants to hold a grudge, that’s on him.”

  “Mom,” Elyse sighed, relenting as she sensed a new fight coming up. “How much do you really know about this man? How long have you been dating?”

  Irene knit her brows and she scowled at her daughter.

  “I am much wiser than you are in the ways of the world, Ellie. I know love when I see it.”

  Yeah, all five and a half times, Elyse thought sarcastically but she kept it to herself.

  “All I’m saying is that maybe you two don’t know each other as well as you think.”

  “I don’t know what crap Marcus is feeding you but Rap is a prince, my knight in shining armor.”

  Elyse idly wondered if her mother was truly that romantic or if she was just painting a picture for her daughter.

  “Okay, Mom. You know what’s best for you.”

  She sighed and rose from the stool at the kitchen island.

  “Now where are you going?” Irene demanded with irritation.

  “I have a doctor’s appointment,” Elyse admitted reluctantly.

  “For what?”

  Elyse chewed on the insides of her cheeks.

  “I think I’m going to get my heart fixed, Mom,” she murmured. “It’s setting me back in a lot of ways.”

  Maybe only one way but that’s more than enough, she thought grimly. Irene’s eyes popped.

  “You’re going to put yourself through surgery?! You heard the doctors! They said these things heal themselves!”

  “In childhood, sometimes,” Elyse replied softly. “I’m a woman now, Mom, and the hole is still there. I need to have it repaired.”

  The indignation was evident on Irene’s face.

  “You’re barely an adult,” she protested.

  A realization seized h
er as she stared at her mother.

  And I’ll always be a child to her, won’t I? No matter what, no matter how old I get. I’ll always be a child in her eyes.

  “I’m old enough to know not to marry a man who up and left his wife and son,” she shot back, anger overwhelming her. “I’m old enough to know that if my child had a heart defect, I wouldn’t shame her into keeping it a secret.”

  Irene’s face registered shock.

  “I never shamed you! I tried to make you stronger, Ellie. I stuck up for you when you were being teased for sitting out in gym class. I forced them to let you participate and if it wasn’t for CPS—”

  “I needed that surgery ten years ago, Mom! I shouldn’t have lived into my adult years – and you could have had it corrected!”

  Irene’s eyes blazed with anger.

  “You ungrateful brat!” she spat. “I sacrificed everything for you!”

  “You almost killed me, Mom,” Elyse fired back. “Your ‘sticking up’ for me almost got me killed. I can’t even have sex without almost dying!”

  She hadn’t meant to blurt out the last part but it was like a floodgate had opened. All of the resentment she’d held toward her mother was coming out in a torrent and no matter how she tried, she knew she couldn’t stop it.

  “Sex?” Irene squeaked, her face paling. “Who are you having sex with?”

  Elyse groaned loudly and rolled her eyes.

  “I think you’re missing the point of this conversation, Mother,” she growled.

  “What is the point, Elyse?” Irene shot back. “That you’re a horny teenager and you want to have heart surgery for the benefit of your sex life? Where did I go so wrong?”

  Elyse ground her teeth together.

  Leave it to Mom to make this all about her.

  “It’s a relatively simple procedure, Mom,” she offered but she didn’t know why she was bothering. Irene had already tuned her out.

  “I tried so hard to make a good life for you. You wanted for nothing and all I asked in return was a little respect…”

  On she droned until Elyse couldn’t take any more.

  “I really have to go,” she muttered, grabbing her purse off the counter and spinning toward the back door.

  “Don’t do this, Ellie!” Irene yelled after her. “Don’t put yourself through this! You’ll regret it if you do!”

  Elyse didn’t answer, instead increasing her pace to put distance between her and her mother.

  I need to take control of my life, she thought grimly, the image of Marcus’ accusing eyes still etched in her mind as she climbed into her car. I have never done the right thing for me and it’s left me on the outside, looking in. That’s why Marcus thought I was spoiled. That’s why I never felt like I belonged anywhere.

  But as she drove around the circle drive, leading back onto the street, she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that her mother was right.

  It’s not her life, it’s mine, Elyse told herself firmly. She’s had years to try and live it for me. Now it’s time for me to take the reins.

  She wondered if this newfound desire had anything to do with Marcus and how badly she wanted to make things right with him.

  Long after he had left on Sunday, she had laid naked on her bed, trying to understand how she could have handled things differently.

  He’s not your bully, not anymore. He’s become something more than that.

  She began to scroll through the memories in her mind, from school days where she would avoid any and all contact with him to the present where she was comfortable spending time alone with him, telling him things she hadn’t ever told anyone else.

  Not about her heart, of course. That was too big of an issue for her to discuss with anyone after being trained by her mother to hide it her whole life.

  But the fates continued to throw her and Marcus together, first at Cal State, then at the Crow. At the party and now their parents had connected? The universe was telling her something.

  Marcus Preston was meant to be in her life. And maybe not as her tormentor. She had actually gained a lot of comfort from him in the recent past – not to mention the best orgasms of her life.

  It wasn’t like she had had dozens of sexual partners before, but not one of them had made her heart skip a beat. Ever.

  But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe I should just settle for the boring guy who wouldn’t kill me during an earth-shattering climax…

  What kind of way is that to live, though? I want what I felt with Marcus. He makes me feel…whole.

  But instead of embracing it, I shoved him away just like I learned to do with anyone who got too close in my childhood.

  She needed to make things right with him, preferably before the wedding, but again, she had been left without a phone number or email address.

  She had decided that her heart had held her back too many times before. She wasn’t going to play victim anymore.

  First I fix my heart, then I go after what it wants, she decided. She didn’t think about what would happen after her mother and his father were married.

  We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, she thought, steering the car toward the hospital.

  The surgery date was set for a month from the day of her first appointment.

  “It’s fairly simple,” Dr. Chandra explained. “It isn’t open-heart and you’ll be under for the procedure.”

  “Wait, what? How can you do surgery on my heart when I’m not cut open?” Elyse had demanded. Dr. Chandra chuckled.

  “Medicine has come a long way since your childhood, my dear. Atrial septal defects are a lot more common than people realize. We used to recommend that children wait it out but given the ease in which these operations are performed now, it’s much safer for anyone to undergo the surgery than to take the chance. Yours should have been repaired years ago. I’m surprised that your parents didn’t insist on it.”

  “Yeah, well…” Elyse muttered, not wanting to go down that road again.

  “Basically, a catheter is used to fix the hole in your heart. A mesh will be put in place and over the next few months, the muscle will grow around it, thereby filling the hole.”

  The truth was, the idea terrified Elyse, more because she couldn’t get her mother’s alarming words out of her head but she knew it needed to be done.

  She went through her days the same as she always had, school, work, home, pretending that she wasn’t about to embark on an entirely new chapter of her life, but the reality was, Elyse felt more alone than she ever had in her life.

  Not a day went by that she didn’t wonder where Marcus was and when she talked to her mother, she asked about him.

  “Have you seen Marcus lately?” she asked hopefully.

  “Marcus?” Irene replied. “Oh. Rap’s son. No. Why?”

  “Just asking,” Elyse sighed.

  “Doesn’t he go to Cal State?”

  “Yeah but he’s not in my program,” she replied. Still, that had given her an idea. It shouldn’t be too hard to find him in the student roster, even if he wasn’t living on campus. A week before she was scheduled for the cardiac catheterization, she found his name in the student union computer.

  A familiar spark of excitement coursed through her as she found his schedule and checked her phone.

  He should be in poli-sci right now. I can catch him on the way out.

  She wasn’t sure what she was going to say when she saw him but something inside her told Elyse that she just needed to see his face and everything else would fall into place.

  She waited in front of the Department of Political Science, her chest pounding with eager anticipation. In her mind’s eye, he would be begrudgingly happy to see her, even if he tried to brush her off.

  Then we’ll go grab a coffee or something and work out whatever this lingering cloud is hanging over us. I’ll tell him the truth about my heart. We’re not kids anymore. We need to get past everything that weighed us down in our childhood.

  Feeli
ng smugly mature, she watched as the classes let out at three-fifteen but as she stood there, slowly losing hope, disappointment began to overcome her when she didn’t see Marcus anywhere.

  Shit. What if he went out a different door? Or what if he skipped class today?

  She sighed as the last of the students seeped from the building but before she could turn away, she caught sight of Steve.

  “Hey!” she called out to him. He eyed her with surprise.

  “Hi,” he drawled. “Are you looking for me?”

  “No,” she replied bluntly. “For Marcus. Have you seen him?”

  Steve’s smile faded and his expression took on a serious note she’d never seen before.

  “No…he’s not here anymore.”

  Her brow furrowed in confusion.

  “What do you mean, he’s not here?” she demanded, a dozen awful thoughts running through her mind.

  “I mean…he’s dropped out of school,” he replied softly. The words were a punch to her gut.

  “What?!” she breathed. “Why? When? How could he do that?”

  Steve shrugged and shook his head.

  “He didn’t really say. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.”

  Steve moved to leave but Elyse’s arm snaked out to grab at him. This man was the only connection to Marcus and he wasn’t walking away until she knew where to find him.

  “No! Wait! Where does he live, Steve? Can you tell me?”

  Marcus’ friend eyed her warily and Elyse could tell he was weighing the repercussions of telling her.

  “I don’t know…” he muttered.

  “I’m not a stalker or a serial killer,” she snapped. “If I wanted to do either of those things, I would have done it by now. I’ve known him since I was six.”

  Steve seemed to accept the argument and shrugged.

  “Give me your number and I’ll text you the address,” he offered.

  “Done,” she replied, whipping out her cell. She suddenly felt as though time was of the essence.

  Chapter 14